I am currently at a position I do not want to get out of. I love it here… I embrace each moment… so what’s happening?

1) My toddler went to school!!! Full day – 830am- 530pm. She loves it there. it’s a wonderful montessori with great loving teachers and values similar to ours. It cost a hell lot of a bomb – around $1k per month after subsidy but I can say, it’s worth EVERY single cents!( Yes, I did realise her pre-school cost MORE than university education… )

I have seen so many positive growth in her since she started school and MOST importantly, the positive changes in ME!

Hahaha, now I am my free woman to explore my hobbies! (not that I dread child-rearing but honestly. 24/7 around each other is really getting too much… I need my own time-out)

2) I have a great fantastic helper. She’s like the angel in the family. I love her, embrace her but also managing her. She has done very well so far and I will continue to pray hard. With her arrival, that means I do not need to do any housework chores and cooking (I cook as hobby but it’s more like I read a loud the recipe to her and she cooks.oops)

My life has evolved… This is the BEST time. HAHAHA.

3) I am returning to work. Yes, in a few weeks, I will once again return to an office and, most importantly, collect a paycheck of my own!

The feeling, it’s heavenly, :p

but i have to say it again.

Kids, they grow up so fast!!

Where did the little baby went to?

This toddler, she’s cute, no doubt. but she’s also a little bit of a terror sometimes!

Things that are the same:

- she’s still pretty fearless in areas such as engaging with dogs and she’s still quite a stubborn character, full of life and zest and character. she is going to grow up to be one mighty young woman, i am sure.

Things that I love:

- her talking. she talks and talks and talks. i love how her tiny voice sounds like. i love how she parrots after me. I love how she calls me mama and her father papa. and many other words she says, very random at times, but super funny!

- her smiles

- her jokes

- her silly antics

- her curiosity

- her active boundless energy

- her intellect

- her sensitivity

areas of concerns:

- bullying (she is the bully, she rarely gets bullied. haha)

- tantrums (well, normal i guess)

- crying and screaming (drives me crazy somedays)

- constantly wanting to eat (junk food, although i normally restrict her access…)

- fussy eater at times

Things I particularly remember at this stage:

- she kisses by banging her head against others’ face, not using her lips. (she doesn’t get the idea i think! haha)

- she parrots

- she loves to walk and attempt to run and jump

- she dances to every music she hears, including her dad’s ringtone.

- she’s crazily in love with Barney

- she thinks Thomas the train is cool too

- she also hugs a pooh bear when she visits the toy store but never bother with her own at home

- her favourite word: mum mum (as in asking for food)

- her favourite person: mommy!

- new changes in her life: kak kak (my helper) joined our family and she adores her.

My brain has been pretty fuzzy at times so this is as much as i can recall. haha!

Things I struggle with:

Spending lots of money

I am always out of the house. therefore, I always spend a lot of money since in shopping malls, you are always tempted to buy this and that, some are useful, some are not. I am trying very hard to work on this. the solution i have thought of would be :

1 ) do not use any form of cards, be it nets or credit cards. I will do it the envelop cash way.

2) do not visit shopping malls as a form of leisure. seriously, for the past 2 years, since i stopped work, i think i am in a shopping mall at least 5 times a week! —> I will start exploring going to places such as parks, playgrounds, seaside etc as form of leisure instead. these places are generally cheaper (though the last time i went to a beach, i bought like quite a lot of stuff from the little shop beside the beach! i’m a chronic shopaholic!!!)

3) shop ONLY with a shopping list, and think 10 times about buying anything extra.

Considering i am going back to work soon (that’s a story for another day), I wonder if it will just get worse since I will start spending my own money and it’s easier to spend that way!

4) Start a serious saving accounts and take pride in the swelling amount of $$ in it.

The whole point is, I am bored, thus spending money was a form of a leisure activity! ARGH!

Cooking

Ok, I am actually getting somewhere there now. I have started on the right track, I am doing menu planning and I am learning not to waste food by cooking one day and throwing everything away the next day. The presence of my lovely helper (yes! I have a maid now! and it’s wonderful!) has helped in the area of cooking, although she can’t cook to save her life either, but I ‘m fine. I rather to pretend I can cook. Now the plan is to stick with my cooking plan and menu!

Doing meaningful activities with Hannah

Since she became a lot more demanding and constantly wanting me to carry and carry. I have stopped doing meaningful stuff too often with her, resorting to the use of the TV to distract her instead. Apart from Julia Gabriel where she does get some meaningful activities to do, I have been lazy at home. This will change! Simple things I plan to do include:

• water play with bubbles (yes we did it recently! yeah!)
• hand painting –> I will do this today!
• finger printing
• marker play
• crayon play (this I do colouring with her very often)
• play dough (this we have done so much till i and her are both bored)
• flour play (done it too)
• chalk play on the ground (this will be tomorrow!)
• playground ( i try to do this on a daily basis at 530 pm each day. I am trying to work out how to cook and teach my helper how to cook and still have the time to go to the playground)

Will start reading up and plan some interesting for us to do together before I return to work. (yes, i am !)

Packing up my house

Yes, this is a big headache and i always have to tell myself to take it slowly and one step at a time. the house won’t get neatened up overnight and the fact is that for the past 16 months, I have been taking care of hannah by myself, so i need to learn to forgive myself! the truth is, I yearn to be martha stewart… seriously.

Ok, now i feel much better since I have gotten my worries out

How has things been?

Wow, so many word to describe. But honestly, tough and rewarding.

I will never look at another SAHM and think “tai-tai” again. It is really FAR away from being a tai-tai. hahahaha.

The perks are of course: sleeping in late, napping in the afternoon, going out shopping all the time, going out on fun trip on weekdays, meeting friends on weekday afternoon for tea, seeing your child grow up every moment.

The warning would be : no time for anything without the child. a 14 month old clinging to my legs ALL the time.

How’s Hannah going?

Great! She has started talking a lot, in fact, parroting me all the time. It’s pretty funny and finally, I feel the rewards showing itself… she’s talking and doing a lot of stuff by herself. growing up well

She’s also started to walk by herself.

There’s a lot more but I’m not going to write down anymore. I have given up charting milestones because it’s pretty tiring! let all the good memory just stay in our minds!

Well, this is a short post but… I’m happy All the best to all mommies and daddies out there. I know, it’s not easy!

but how to and how to fit it in while caring for Hannah 24/7 is something I find difficult to do.

In fact, it’s challenging to get anything done nowadays! hahah… with a toddler literally grabbing my legs…

I need your urgent advice about employing a maid. As a busy mother, I need someone reliable to help out at home.

My maid is from Profits Agency Pte (PAP) and she has worked for me for a long time. Her mother worked for my parents and did an excellent job, so I had faith in her. For several years her performance has been very good, but recently she has become arrogant and insensitive, and is making lots of mistakes.

For example:

1)     She flooded my kitchen –  she told me that the drain pipe has blocked (she was supposed to clear it once a month but didn’t). Then she assured me that it is very rare and won’t happen again in the near future. Guess what? It flooded again within a year!

2)     She didn’t close a window and my terrier dog escaped. I was so worried cos he is dangerous and could bite lots of people. After the incident, she didn’t apologise and just shrugged her shoulders saying “What to do, it has happened.” Fortunately my neighbor found the dog and we locked it up again.

3)     Without consulting me, she has been bringing in strangers for my house’s maintenance work. She says they charge low wages and keep costs down, but they eat my food, make a lot of noise and rest on my bed. I think they even tried to seduce my husband. It stopped feeling like my home, more like a cheap hotel, and I don’t always want to come back at the end of the day.

4)     When she first came to work for me, I instructed her to clean the different parts of the house at least once a week. But for some time she has stopped taking care of the bedrooms of PP and H; they are now dirty and messy. I asked why and she told me that the kids had been disobedient, so she was neglecting their bedrooms as a punishment (she has forgotten that she is paid to clean all the rooms).

Even though my maid has worked for me for many years and I value what she has done in the past, I think she is now getting complacent.  Her attitude is imperious and dismissive. She ignores my comments and basically treats my feedback as “noise”.  I wrote to the agency about her behavior; they assured me that they are the best agency around and all their maids are “Commited to Serve” – but I think it is just rhetoric and I don’t see that in her actions. Her salary is much higher than maids in other countries, but the agency say this is to keep her honest and stop her moving to another employer. They say there is a limited supply of maids, and Singapore isn’t big enough for more than one good maid agency, so I should not trust their competitors.

I have to decide whether to renew my maid’s 5-year employment contract. When we discussed this she said that she is now part of a team, and if I want her I must also accept her friends doing part-time work for me. One friend is very inexperienced, can’t do basic tasks or explain what she intends to do. I suspect that she is actually underage. When interviewed, she only seemed interested in her days-off and visiting Universal Studios. When she couldn’t answer my questions she stomped her foot and exclaimed, “I don’t know what to say!” But I am still expected to pay her a high salary.

Now there happen to be a few other maid agencies – Workhard Pte (WP), New Solutions Pte (NSP), Super Personnel Pte (SPP) and Star Domestica Pte (SDP) – that offered me some helpers who seem sincere, genuine and intelligent. They are keen to work, willing to assist me and have a good attitude. I know that they may take a bit of time to learn how everything works, but frankly I am inclined to give them a chance.

People say that the devil you know is better than one you don’t. But I feel that I can’t tahan my current maid anymore. Do you think I should sack my current maid and try out a new one?

But here I am, because, the calling is strong. I have never been interested in politics, but now, as a mother, things are different.

The General Election is coming up soon, finally, and this time, it is indeed THE election.

Singapore, my home, has changed a lot in the last 5 years, changes that make me want to weep every time I hear the song “Singapore, my homeland, it’s here where we belong”

What has happened to my homeland?

Under the rules of the ruling party (you-know-who), Singapore is flooded, with people and a mad dash for economic growth. Who is serving who now? the government must remember it is to be serving the people and not the people serving and working day and night, to serve and fund the government. Where’s the heart for the people anymore? Especially locals Singaporeans, why are we starting to feel 2nd class in our very own home?

If this goes on, what will be the Singapore my daughter will be growing up in? A country who prize only academic certificates, who adores elitism and assume that everyone should be one or else, go drive a taxi pls, and one which is so congested that she will be fighting beyond reasonable standards to get into schools, get scholarship, and have to live with policies that does not benefit her (or worse, suffocate her!) and a world where every dollar she earns goes out so fast because the cost of everything is soooo high.

I do not live in district 9,10,11. I still cannot afford a maid because I am a SAHM and the maid levy is no joke either. I do not have parents who run big companies nor a spouse who works in an MNC. I am a very heartland mother who is very worried about the future of my child in this very money minded Singapore.

But alas, God is good. A choice is there now, and this is the time to give a rude awakening, that, the mindset of the government should be in its people, the very reason why they exist. they must remember its moral compass, the love for the people.

In the words of Mr Tan, now with SDP (opposition). who was principal private secretary to then Deputy Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong, “To show gratitude is not to turn a blind eye to what is bad or what is good, what is wrong and what is right. In fact the best way to show gratitude is to build upon the source of gratitude or to put it right, back on the right path, if it loses its way. I think the government has lost its way; it has lost its moral compass.” Especially this “These 35,000 jobs created by casinos, (it’s) nothing. You spend five years, $10 billion, you created 30,000 jobs for teachers, these are noble jobs, meaningful jobs to invest in the future of children, not these casino jobs, dealers,” —> I am in particular, very disappointed with the government decision to go ahead with the casino too, as it has wrecked havoc in people I know too.!

So, I have said my piece, from the viewpoint of a mother. Simply put, only we can make this world a different (better) place for our children, whom we all love so dear.

On a lighter note, I think I probably have to go clear plates off food court tables when I turn 80, considering I do not have much CPF nor savings from my years of being a “non-working” mother.

Hannah watching TV with me, gently and quietly reversed herself so that she will fit right into my lap. And then lean back and relax. What a great sofa mommy makes.. and how lovely this moment was.

In the morning, Hannah coming up to me and squeeze her face into mine, or my body to wake me up, or going to the curtains to open it to let in some light. Cheeky little one. Makes me smile.

O yes, I have survived more than 10 months of raising a little girl full time at home. And I am proud that, it has gotten lovelier and lovelier…

Her 3rd word: DOG!

She pronounce it as “Tog” though but it’s alright.

And today, I started teaching her that Bee goes “Buzzz” and whenever I ask her “Hannah, how does bees go?” She will answer “buzz.z….”

This is getting super fun.

Not to mention that she is smiling and laughing all the time.

I kinda look forward to the toddler stage!